yesterday I got started writing a whole entry about change. I was in the middle of a freak out, realizing that high school is really over and things will never be the same. Heres as far as i got: "Well… last night was graduation- the grand finale of 13 years in the parkland school district. It’s a weird feeling; I think any graduate can agree. It has me thinking about the past and the future and how things have changed and will change in the months to come." But it turned out that as I was writing, two different people facebook chatted with me: Chris moyer and Elizabeth Mueller. I have known chris for years. He played baseball with brandon for as long as i can remember and we've gone to the same school since 6th grade. We were never really friends though- we never even really talked. This year we sat at the same lunch table together first semester and thats when we started talking. Through the year we acutally hung out a few times and became friends. Yesterday when he messaged me, we ended up talking about all that i was thinking- basically i was afraid of the changes. He gave me advice and told me that every day is a gift and i shouldnt be afraid of what it brings. By talking about what I was afraid of, it made me face my fears and acknowledge them. At the same time i was talking with Elizabeth. She will be a freshman at messiah this year as well and we just became facebook friends. She messaged me for the first time and we talked about our lives and our high schools and college. She has been home schooled up till now and messiah will be her first real school. As much as college will be a change for me, it will be more of a change for her. She brought up how people scare her and i realized that that is exactly true for me too. It is nice knowing that everyone is going through the same thing and has worries about college. I think that we are all really excited to experience new things and although we will need to adjust, it will be worth it. Later, after i calmed down I found this quote posted by sarah seifert "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect. You have to trust in something-your gut, destiny, life, karma."
-apple ceo Steve Jobs, Stanford 2005
That pretty much sums it up. This year I've looked back a lot -sometimes more than i should. Things just all seem to come together at some point. Sure, there are still ups and downs but everything in the past has lead me to where i am now, and really i cant complain about how things are. There are still struggles, I still wonder why certain things are the way they are but i know that i will eventually be able to look back and connect the dots. Until then all i can do is keep following God and trust that everything will turn out the way He wants it. | 
man i hoped this day would never come